Jon Dawson: A dream wedding for just pennies
If my pending patent for no-stick lip balm comes through, I may have enough dough to spring for a few pizzas.
Tag: column
Jon Dawson and Bryan Hanks announce presidential run
“I’m tired of my friends ending up in the emergency room with their lips stapled together.”
Jon Dawson: Strait releases song about Kinston potholes
One second everybody in the band was asleep in their bunks, the next they were shoulder-rolling down Vernon Avenue.
Jon Dawson: La Grange woman wins $87,000
“By midnight she’ll be crawling around the lobby looking for enough change to get a cab back to her room at the YMCA.”
Jon Dawson: How screaming idiots at graduations can solve the pothole problem
Every 30 seconds some cement-headed waste of space yelled out as if they were playing bingo at a Metallica concert.
Jon Dawson: Sun tan lotion proven to attract sharks
The humidity was so high I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.
Jon Dawson: Emotional support animal killed at local restaurant
“All of a sudden I noticed that the yips and barks had grown disturbingly faint.”
Jon Dawson: La Grange woman to auction off 3,000 Chick-fil-A sandwiches
Burroughs’ background as a gangster’s moll taught her to always be on the lookout for crimes of opportunity.
Jon Dawson: Bryan Hanks wedding marred by Katt Williams allegations
Katt Williams accusation taints an otherwise controversial wedding.
Jon Dawson: A Juicy Fruit Christmas
The Wife’s Christmas stocking might end up being filled with the after-dinner mints that have been in my sports jacket since the last time we went out to dinner during the Carter administration.
The Bucklesberry Gazette 