Jon Dawson: Top employee promoted to meaningless position
“The man was lured out of the bathroom with a Dorito-flavored vape.”
Tag: td#2
Jon Dawson: Kinston man to make WWE debut in November
“They continued selling livestock during the wrestling match.”
Jon Dawson: Wifi equipped guns blamed for dove extinction
“The tomato resembled Luke Bryan.”
Jon Dawson: Lost Jimi Hendrix bluegrass album to be released
“He was unable to kiss the sky, although he did get a hug from Jimmy Martin.”
Jon Dawson: Belichick to replace Davis as UNC basketball coach
When told the news, Stephen A. Smith reportedly swallowed his own face during a taping of his Loudest Jackass podcast.
Jon Dawson: Carbonated cats at Christmas
“You mean the warm kind?”
Jon Dawson: Discovery of faked childhood Disney vacation disrupts Thankgiving
“Every time I see a beautiful sunset or a demolition derby, I’m reminded of them.”
Jon Dawson: A dream wedding for just pennies
If my pending patent for no-stick lip balm comes through, I may have enough dough to spring for a few pizzas.
Jon Dawson: How screaming idiots at graduations can solve the pothole problem
Every 30 seconds some cement-headed waste of space yelled out as if they were playing bingo at a Metallica concert.
Jon Dawson: Sun tan lotion proven to attract sharks
The humidity was so high I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.
The Bucklesberry Gazette 