Jon Dawson: Kinston man to make WWE debut in November
“They continued selling livestock during the wrestling match.”
Tag: jonathan massey
Jon Dawson – Colonoscopy II: Electric Boogaloo
“We were bobbing, weaving, and at one point shoulder-rolling through a maze of medical staff who had obviously exceeded their free-sample allotment from the drug rep’s goody bags.”
Jon Dawson: Belichick to replace Davis as UNC basketball coach
When told the news, Stephen A. Smith reportedly swallowed his own face during a taping of his Loudest Jackass podcast.
Jon Dawson: La Grange lottery customer goes on crime spree
“Although I detest hooliganism, I admired her gusto.”
Jon Dawson: Missing Kinston man found at Neuseway Nature Center
“I didn’t have all day, so as soon as I had a clear shot I took him down.”
Jon Dawson: Carbonated cats at Christmas
“You mean the warm kind?”
Jon Dawson: When adults pretend to play football
“I haven’t watched an NFL game since Tom Landry wore a Kangol.”
Jon Dawson: Diddy recording holiday album in jail
“At some point, I figured people would wake up and stop buying my terrible, terrible music, and I was just preparing for that day.”
Jon Dawson and Bryan Hanks announce presidential run
“I’m tired of my friends ending up in the emergency room with their lips stapled together.”
Jon Dawson: How screaming idiots at graduations can solve the pothole problem
Every 30 seconds some cement-headed waste of space yelled out as if they were playing bingo at a Metallica concert.
The Bucklesberry Gazette 