Jon Dawson: Walmart greeter scares pregnant woman into labor
“We had a pallet of expired Mt. Dew out back.”
Tag: td#2
Jon Dawson: Utility costs force man to live in dog house
Dog catches fleas from his owner.
Jon Dawson: Marijuana confiscated in Kinston put to good use
“We formed a committee and sent them on fact finding missions in Las Vegas, New Orleans, and The Bahamas.”
Jon Dawson: King’s offering snow cream/slaw hybrid for limited time
This is not your parent’s slaw.
Jon Dawson: Santa’s tariff fees leave millions stunned
“The elves unionized a few years ago.”
Jon Dawson: Top employee promoted to meaningless position
“The man was lured out of the bathroom with a Dorito-flavored vape.”
Jon Dawson: Kinston man to make WWE debut in November
“They continued selling livestock during the wrestling match.”
Jon Dawson: Wifi equipped guns blamed for dove extinction
“The tomato resembled Luke Bryan.”
Jon Dawson: Lost Jimi Hendrix bluegrass album to be released
“He was unable to kiss the sky, although he did get a hug from Jimmy Martin.”
Jon Dawson: Belichick to replace Davis as UNC basketball coach
When told the news, Stephen A. Smith reportedly swallowed his own face during a taping of his Loudest Jackass podcast.
The Bucklesberry Gazette 