Being a man of advanced years and rapidly greying hair, I’m annoyed by almost everyone and everything. A 20-minute drive on any major highway would cause Gahndi to get a ‘don’t tread on me’ tattoo and start pounding Pabst Blue Ribbon like no tomorrow.

There is nothing like sitting in traffic and being stuck behind enough political bumper stickers to subdue a wooly mammoth. I understand that bumper stickers are a way for people to express themselves, but instead of cramming more political opinions up the noses of a largely suicidal contingent of motorists, why not give them something pleasant to look at? How about a little Van Gogh or Monet to soften that brutal commute? If fine art is too highfalutin, how about a press photo of Sophia Loren from Boccaccio ’70?

“Always give 100%…unless you’re giving blood.” – Bill Murray

“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” – Maya Angelou

“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” – Will Rogers

“Well done is better than well said.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Nobody cares who you vote for.” – Jon Dawson

There was a time when Facebook and other social media platforms were a cool place to check in with buddies who had moved away, share a great new album or movie you discovered, or watch videos of cats running full blast into glass doors, cats being terrified by pickles, and that timeless classic – cats getting stuck in the freezer.

But now, every third post is political, and not necessarily researched or verified. While every fiber of my being wants to believe that Candidate X was caught frolicking with a group of Cher impersonators at a Holiday Inn, it’s almost as likely as Candidate Y being the lovechild of Col. Sanders and Joy Behar. Both scenarios make you want to take a dozen showers, but I’d suggest checking the sources before putting your loofah through its paces.

Lastly, please, please, please stop talking politics at family get-togethers. Even if you agree with your family politically, your collective hatred of the opposition is going to poison the event. Would you rather your last memory of Uncle Rob be him cussing out a politician or “sitting on a frog” after eating too many dried butterbeans?

While there are a handful of politicians at the state and local level that truly care about their constituency, once you get into the upper echelons of either party survival mode kicks in. When comparing the importance of a presidential election versus the friendship of your neighbors and coworkers, the neighbors and coworkers will have more to do with your overall well-being than whichever hat rack is elected president. 

There are plenty of other things to argue over, such as sports or why Beyonce wasn’t nominated for a Country Music Award this year. But leave the politics in the booth, and try not to step on any frogs.

Jon Dawson’s books are available at www.JonDawson.com. His albums are available at www.343Collective.com, and you can hear him Monday through Friday on the Bryan Hanks Show with Jonathan Massey.

The Bryan Hanks Show airs on 960-AM in Kinston and 960TheBull.com daily at 7 a.m. & 3 p.m. It also airs on the 252ESPN.com stations in New Bern and Greenville (107.5-FM) at 6 p.m. The entire archive of shows can be found at http://www.BryanHanks.com.