Jon Dawson: Stop leaving the house in your pajamas

“The scratching sound generated by people not picking up their feet confuses the birds and interrupts their migration.”

Jon Dawson: Two injured at adult-themed haunted house

“These boys showed up thinking ‘adult’ meant they’d be chased around by zombie strippers or something,” Burroughs said on Monday.

Sometimes life gets serious, and this is one of those instances.

“We’re not going to have any Lot Lizards roaming around out here.”

“I couldn’t figure out why two people who don’t work at night needed so many blackout curtains.”

Hanks is scheduled to join Sarah Palin as a celebrity judge.

Inmates, gamblers and check kiters have united to support Hanks.

The U.S. Military plans on dropping thousands of packs of Barbechew over the Middle East in an effort to quell unrest.

“Oh dear God.” – Jennifer Shrader/Elevator World Magazine

Even though TD#2 tried to split the pavement a few times she never so much as whimpered.