Hip-Hop Along Hanks signs autographs at the Wounded Dog Flea Market in Tick Bite, N.C. / Photo by Linda Whittington

Bryan Hanks is known to many in Eastern North Carolina as the host of his own radio show, former editor of the Kinston Free Press, and seven-time Bea Arthur lookalike champion. 

While those aforementioned accomplishments would be enough for anyone’s CV, Hanks is not content to rest on his laurels.

“I’ve always loved music,” Hanks said. “I often sing Barry Manilow tunes in the shower, and even though it causes my dog Mollie to run under the house, I quite enjoy it.”

After faltered attempts at new avenues of self-expression such as photography and toenail sculpture, Hanks decided to become a recording artist.

“I’m a lifelong country music fan but I can’t play an instrument or sing, so I decided to become a hip-hop country artist,” Hanks said. “My first album drops next week on Profoundly Def Records under the stage name Hip-Hop Along Hanks.

The lead single off of the album is a reworked version of the Breland hit ‘(Don’t Touch) My Truck’. The Hip-Hop Along Hanks version is entitled ‘(Don’t Touch) My Lunch’. Other tracks include ‘Your Cheatin’ Hiz-eart’, ‘Man, I Feel Like A Shorty’, ‘Fizancy’, ‘El Segundo By Morning’, ‘All My Ex’s Live In Compton’, and ‘Mammas Don’t Let Your Baby’s Grow Up To Be Kanye’.

Two out of two Tax Deductions recommend Blizzard Building Supply, located at 405 Walston Avenue, Kinston.

Although Hip-Hop Along Hanks initially approached several professional studio owners, none were able to capture the essence of his singular talent.

“Hanks came in here and tried to record some vocals,” said acclaimed producer/engineer/musician Benjy Johnson of Earthtones Recording Studio. “The microphone unplugged itself.”

The A&R representative for Profoundly Def Records who signed Hip Hop Along Hanks was unavailable for comment as the Bucklesberry Gazette went to press.

“The mor–, eh, guy who signed Hanks? He’s been reassigned to Anchorage,” said label chief Stevia Knight. “There’s an untapped reservoir of talent deep in the wilds of Alaska, and we felt the guy who signed Hip Hop Along Hanks deserved a new assignment to a place cold enough to freeze time.”

The following are excerpts from reviews of the album that will be published next week:

“The debut release from Hip Hop Along Hanks reeks of gas station bathroom charm and makes one nostalgic for the days before recorded music.” – Kurt Looter/Rolling Stone

“Oh dear God.” – Jennifer Shrader/Elevator World Magazine

“Great art is supposed to get a reaction,” Hip-Hop Along Hanks said. “Dude, I think I’ve got a home run here.”

Jon Dawson’s books are available at www.JonDawson.com.

The entire archive of shows can be found at www.BryanHanks.com.

The Bryan Hanks Show airs on 960-AM in Kinston and 960TheBull.com daily at 7 a.m. & 3 p.m. It also airs on the suite of 252ESPN.com stations in New Bern and Greenville (107.5-FM) at 6 p.m.