Jon Dawson: Dollar General Hospital coming to Kinston

A new Dollar General is rumored to be moving into the Jenny Lind Store building in Bucklesberry.

Jon Dawson: Bryan Hanks and Richard Clark are getting married

“Wouldn’t those be some pretty puppies?”

Hanks is scheduled to join Sarah Palin as a celebrity judge.

Inmates, gamblers and check kiters have united to support Hanks.

Paramedics made their way to the parent behind me who yelled himself into a coma.

“It’s morally wrong to force me to take a drug that forces me to act like I have some sense,” Danvers said.

“I tried to tell grandma collard plants shouldn’t be 12ft tall.”

“I tried to feed one of them, but it apparently mistook my arm for an after-dinner mint and went to town.”

The U.S. Military plans on dropping thousands of packs of Barbechew over the Middle East in an effort to quell unrest.

“Paulette has cool stories about beating up Clint Eastwood and working as Kanye’s crayon sorter”.