Jon Dawson: A dream wedding for just pennies
If my pending patent for no-stick lip balm comes through, I may have enough dough to spring for a few pizzas.
Tag: td#1
Jon Dawson: How screaming idiots at graduations can solve the pothole problem
Every 30 seconds some cement-headed waste of space yelled out as if they were playing bingo at a Metallica concert.
Jon Dawson: Sun tan lotion proven to attract sharks
The humidity was so high I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.
Jon Dawson: Emotional support animal killed at local restaurant
“All of a sudden I noticed that the yips and barks had grown disturbingly faint.”
Jon Dawson: Alleged theft takes place during funeral
It’s been said that tragedy brings out the best in people, but not necessarily the best people.
Jon Dawson: La Grange woman to auction off 3,000 Chick-fil-A sandwiches
Burroughs’ background as a gangster’s moll taught her to always be on the lookout for crimes of opportunity.
Jon Dawson: A Juicy Fruit Christmas
The Wife’s Christmas stocking might end up being filled with the after-dinner mints that have been in my sports jacket since the last time we went out to dinner during the Carter administration.
Bryan Hanks to reunite with former boy band, release Christmas album
“I assume he’s shoring up his alimony reserves.”
Jon Dawson: Dogs are now allowed in grocery stores
A poodle is probably lurking in your local grocery store, just waiting to start a family with a bag of oranges.
Jon Dawson: Stop leaving the house in your pajamas
“The scratching sound generated by people not picking up their feet confuses the birds and interrupts their migration.”
The Bucklesberry Gazette 