A Lenoir County woman has been accused of fraud in connection with a massive Kinston pothole.

The woman, Paulette Burroughs, 39, of La Grange, is the owner/operator of the As Far As You Know travel agency, a company that offers discounted tours of famous American tourist attractions. 

“I’ve been saving money to visit America for so many years,” said Achim Reichel of Berlin. “I found that the As Far As You Know agency had the best price for a tour of the Grand Canyon, so I booked the trip.”

Reichel said he was perplexed when the plane ticket he received from Paulette Burroughs was for North Carolina.

“I called Paulette Burroughs at the travel agency and asked why was she flying me into North Carolina to see the Grand Canyon,” Reichel said. “She said the new highway shaved 29 hours off of the drive and made the Autobahn look like a go-cart track, so I took her at her word.”

Two out of two Tax Deductions recommend Blizzard Building Supply, located at 405 Walston Avenue, Kinston.

After picking up Reichel at RDU airport, Burroughs reportedly brought Reichel to La Grange and prepared him an authentic Southern meal.

“I’ve never seen so much gravy in one place,” Reichel said. “There must have been a punchbowl full of it on her table; when she dipped out of the bowl it resulted in whitecaps.”

Reichel said once the meal was over, Burroughs led him to her truck.

“She said we were heading to the Grand Canyon,” Reichel said. “As soon as I sat down in the back of Paulette’s 1971 Scout, I succumbed to what my American friends call ‘the itus’. The gravy got me.”
When Reichel awoke, Burroughs’s truck was parked next to a giant hole in the ground, which Reichel assumed was the Grand Canyon.

“As we stood at the top of the massive crater, Paulette handed me a bag of provisions,” Reichel said. “Inside the bag was a sleeping bag, flashlight, a pack of Nabs, French Army knife, a partially eaten pork chop sandwich, and an 8-track copy of Super Freak by Rick James.”

After saying their goodbyes at the top of the crater, Burroughs shook Reichel’s hand and gave him a shove down the first few feet of what he assumed was the Grand Canyon – but it wasn’t. In fact, Reichel had started on a journey down a pothole on Herritage Street in Kinston. 

For the first few hundred feet into his descent, Reichel assumed he was making his way down the Grand Canyon. Then, about 20 minutes into his journey, he was hit in the head with a discarded McMuffin container. As dawn approached, he began to be pelted with bits of busted tire rims, vehicle transmissions, and the occasional set of false teeth.

“Unfortunately Mr. Reichel was being hit by debris created by people driving directly over the pothole he was exploring,” said Special Agent Dale Cooper of the North Carolina Tourism Board. “While we regret Mr. Reichel’s ordeal when the rescue helicopter lowered itself several miles down into the pothole for his rescue, we were able to recover several lost vehicles and in one instance an entire family that went missing back in 2019.” 

When asked how a family of four was able to survive at the bottom of a three-mile-deep pothole for several years, Cooper’s explanation was extraordinary.

“Through a series of nets and pulleys, the family had survived on Bojangle’s fragments that had flown out the windows of unsuspecting commuters as their vehicles were shaken violently by the massive potholes,” Cooper said. “There’s a river of honey mustard down there that could lift the Titanic out of dry dock.”

Burroughs’ first court appearance is scheduled for Oct. 10. Insiders say it could take years to find an attorney she doesn’t owe money to, have a restraining order against, or currently be involved in a paternity suit with.

Jon Dawson’s books are available at www.JonDawson.com.

The Bryan Hanks Show airs on 960-AM in Kinston and 960TheBull.com daily at 7 a.m. & 3 p.m. It also airs on the 252ESPN.com stations in New Bern and Greenville (107.5-FM) at 6 p.m. The entire archive of shows can be found at http://www.BryanHanks.com.