Jon Dawson: Alleged theft takes place during funeral

It’s been said that tragedy brings out the best in people, but not necessarily the best people.

Jon Dawson: Bryan Hanks and Jonathan Massey at the movies

After verifying that all of my inoculations were in fact up to date, I agreed to go to the movie with Hanks and Massey.

“I couldn’t figure out why two people who don’t work at night needed so many blackout curtains.”

A new Dollar General is rumored to be moving into the Jenny Lind Store building in Bucklesberry.

“Wouldn’t those be some pretty puppies?”

Hanks is scheduled to join Sarah Palin as a celebrity judge.

Inmates, gamblers and check kiters have united to support Hanks.

Representatives from the Americana Cable Network asked if I’d be interested in having a show based on my real life.

Paramedics made their way to the parent behind me who yelled himself into a coma.

“It’s morally wrong to force me to take a drug that forces me to act like I have some sense,” Danvers said.