Jon Dawson: Sun tan lotion proven to attract sharks

The humidity was so high I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.

Jon Dawson: Emotional support animal killed at local restaurant

“All of a sudden I noticed that the yips and barks had grown disturbingly faint.”

It’s been said that tragedy brings out the best in people, but not necessarily the best people.

After verifying that all of my inoculations were in fact up to date, I agreed to go to the movie with Hanks and Massey.

“I couldn’t figure out why two people who don’t work at night needed so many blackout curtains.”

A new Dollar General is rumored to be moving into the Jenny Lind Store building in Bucklesberry.

“Wouldn’t those be some pretty puppies?”

Hanks is scheduled to join Sarah Palin as a celebrity judge.

Inmates, gamblers and check kiters have united to support Hanks.

Representatives from the Americana Cable Network asked if I’d be interested in having a show based on my real life.