Jon Dawson: Kinston officials ask Bryan Hanks to return key to the city

Some people believe potted meat should be classified as a schedule IV controlled substance.

Jon Dawson: Sun tan lotion proven to attract sharks

The humidity was so high I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.

“All of a sudden I noticed that the yips and barks had grown disturbingly faint.”

It’s been said that tragedy brings out the best in people, but not necessarily the best people.

After verifying that all of my inoculations were in fact up to date, I agreed to go to the movie with Hanks and Massey.

“I couldn’t figure out why two people who don’t work at night needed so many blackout curtains.”

A new Dollar General is rumored to be moving into the Jenny Lind Store building in Bucklesberry.

“Wouldn’t those be some pretty puppies?”

Hanks is scheduled to join Sarah Palin as a celebrity judge.

Inmates, gamblers and check kiters have united to support Hanks.