Jon Dawson: Optometrist visit causes wedding cancelation

“I couldn’t figure out why two people who don’t work at night needed so many blackout curtains.”

Jon Dawson: Dollar General Hospital coming to Kinston

A new Dollar General is rumored to be moving into the Jenny Lind Store building in Bucklesberry.

“Wouldn’t those be some pretty puppies?”

Inmates, gamblers and check kiters have united to support Hanks.

Representatives from the Americana Cable Network asked if I’d be interested in having a show based on my real life.

“It’s morally wrong to force me to take a drug that forces me to act like I have some sense,” Danvers said.

“I tried to tell grandma collard plants shouldn’t be 12ft tall.”

“I tried to feed one of them, but it apparently mistook my arm for an after-dinner mint and went to town.”

“Oh dear God.” – Jennifer Shrader/Elevator World Magazine

She’ll be finishing her four-year degree at E.C.U., majoring in bagpiping