Hip-Hop-Along Hanks greets fans at a Cracker Barrell in Compton, California. Photo by Paul Whittington

It’s been a banner year for local radio host Bryan Hanks. He’s engaged to be married, his radio show progresses with each rating book, and the mystery rash that has stumped physicians and clergy the world over finally seems to be in remission. 

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If all of that weren’t enough, his 2023 debut hip-hop album recorded under the name Hip-Hop-Along Hanks was certified gold last week by the Recording Industry Association of America. 

“With hits such as ‘Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Kanyes’ and ‘El Segundo By Morning’, Hip-Hop-Along Hanks is the soul of popular music,” said Rolling Stone Magazine founder Jann Wenner. “Hanks has provided the soundtrack to the zeitgeist of the shiftless, future-wards-of-the-state who install noisy mufflers, take up two parking spaces at the grocery store, and take 17 minutes to order at a drive-thru.”

Hip-Hop-Along Hanks’s first foray into the music business occurred in 1989 when formed the influential rap band C.W.A.

“The press didn’t know what to make of us,” said Hanks’ C.W.A. bandmate Richard Clark, who records music under the name DJ Mom Jeans. “Some journalists thought we were nimrods, while others hailed us as morons.”

With the Hip-Hop-Along Hanks 2023 It’s Not Mine, Officer! tour finishing back in September, Hanks reached out to his old C.W.A. bandmates to record an album of Christmas tunes.

“I have no clue as to why Hanks decided to get the band back together,” said Jonathan Massey of C.W.A. “He’s getting married to a very beautiful, sane woman in December, so I assume he’s shoring up his alimony reserves.”

The following is a list of songs that are slated to be on the C.W.A. Christmas album:

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Cirrhosis

I Saw Daddy Beat Up Santa Claus

The Little Wormey Boy

The Louder the Mufflerthe Smaller The Brain

All I Want For Christmas is A Couple of Teeth

Frosty The Repo Man

Christmas, Baby Please Go Home

Rudolph The Unlicensed Bail Bondsman

I Saw Daddy Robbing Santa Claus

The 12 Steps of Christmas

Do You Smell What I Smell?

The C.W.A. Christmas album can be purchased on vinyl, CD, cassette, 8-track tape and cylinder at www.343Collective.com.

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The Bryan Hanks Show airs on 960-AM in Kinston and 960TheBull.com daily at 7 a.m. & 3 p.m. It also airs on the 252ESPN.com stations in New Bern and Greenville (107.5-FM) at 6 p.m. The entire archive of shows can be found at www.BryanHanks.com.